Perspective Shift

They say I made it.
And that they're proud.
I did it, despite my crowd.

I laugh.

…Yeah I made it.
I made it through lost hopes.
Failed dreams.
Residual nightmares, memories of alcoholics and crack feins.

So stressed, with no escape.
Like having no eye lids, in a room made of light beams.
Night screams.

Tossing and turning, no sleep.
Stomach aching, empty fridge, no food to eat.
Showing kindness, being forced to fight is what kindness has reaped.

But yeah… I made it.

Still vomiting at the slight hint of the smell.
The bottom of a bottle, to me resembles the depth of a well.
I remember living in hell.

Bottles rolling to a stop.
I remember saying fuck the world -
But only when I lost hope, that I would make it to the top.

Admiring the strength of rocks,
While feeling stuck in a box.
Put on a façade and gained so many haters.
I remember walking around insecure, despite the presence of cops.

But yeah… I made it.

I remember family turning on me.
Fake friends and liars feeding me testimony -
Knowing, I knew they were phony.
I remember feeling lonely.

Just so enraged, but forced to bottle it.
So it grew like a beast in a cage.
And all before I was legal of age.

Heavy eyes, sleepless nights.
So much anger, embracing the cursing and fights.
But yet, found peace within the chaos.
Like a small star, shining forth through the darkness of night.

But yeah… I made it.

I remember laughter turned to sadness.
And laughter from sadness.
Forgetting about the moment, allowing it to pass us.

See I understood…
No I understand, that no one else could ever understand my plight.
Because at the end of the day, it is me I fight.
Finding reason within’ turmoil, maybe that’s the source of my might.

Asking questions, receiving only answers to questions, -
With questions more deep.
What level of sanity would be expected of me to keep.

My own thoughts led me to dig a hole so deep.
People telling me I can do it, and they're there for me.
But never holding out a hand for me to reach.
Life may be a lesson, but it is ourselves who we teach.

They say I made it.
And that they're proud.
I did it despite my crowd.

I laugh.

…Yeah, I made it.

What choice did I have.